Thursday: Today was an okay day. I was struggling a bit with finding my place. I felt inadequate and out of place. I missed home and my friends. My teacher has me doing a lot of the grading and some students came in to ask her why they got points off. I felt like I was the bad guy because I wasn't as lenient as she is, but I was just doing it the way she told me. It was just a day at school. Nothing really bad happened, but at the same time nothing really good happened either. I came home from school, got a little rest to help my cold, and watched the BYU basketball game. That didn't really help my mood, so I just went to bed.
Friday: It was a half day at school today and I was super excited about it. I took a trip down memory lane and had macaroni and cheese. Mom used to always send us to school with mac and cheese or spaghetti-os on half days. I didn't have a thermos to transport the lunch in, so I ate it when I got home. And I didn't have spaghetti-os, so I had mac and cheese. I also had a donut and Dunkin Donuts hot chocolate that I grabbed on my way home from school. Man it was good! I think I have it all figured out. I'll get a sandwich from Potbelly's, hot chocolate from Dunkin Donuts, and a cupcake from DC Cupcakes. It's the perfect meal! After school I took it easy, read a book, and took a nap. I had a long distance movie night with a friend from school. We watched "You've Got Mail" (one of my all time favorites).
Saturday: I slept in this morning. I knew that the only way to get rid of my cold for good was to get a lot of sleep. I thought for sure that I would sleep in really late (partly because I was up late watching "You've Got Mail" and partly because I was exhausted) but surprisingly I woke up at nine completely rested. I got up and made myself a tasty breakfast. It snowed overnight and was still snowing a little bit and it was actually sticking! I made the executive decision to stay in today and get a lot of work done. I went to the gym with my roommates and they all about died when I went. It kind of made me feel worse. I went to the gym to feel like I fit in with them better but instead I felt even more like I didn't belong. I got really homesick. I wanted to do something with someone, but all the people I wanted to be with were in Utah. I missed home. I missed my family and my friends. My roommates continued to do things together without inviting me to join in. So I watched the BYU game on my laptop and went to bed excited for church the next morning.
Sunday: I went to church this morning, stepped out of my comfort circle and sat by people I didn't know in every meeting. In sacrament meeting we sang "Where Can I Turn For Peace?" and I realized that that was the question I was asking myself all day yesterday. I was aching for peace but didn't know where to turn. I found my answer in the third verse. "In my Gethsemane" the Savior is my friend and He is constant and kind. When I remembered this, I filled with instant peace. I didn't feel alone any more and most of my lingering homesickness disappeared. I took a big nap after church of course and went to a New Member Dessert Social after dinner. I'm getting more comfortable in my ward and I'm making a lot of new friends there. A friendly smile from a familiar face does wonders. :)
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