I made it......barely.

     I can that weeks like this one that try teachers' souls.  I've been frustrated, let down, discouraged, disrespected, and worn out.  I've burned the candle at both ends. I feel like I have been trying so hard to fit the several different molds of the teacher that everyone else wants me to be that I've had to give up on being the teacher that I want to be.  I've dreamed of being a fun teacher that students love.  Instead I find myself being strict and cross because the students are disrespectful and whose favorite teacher is the grumpy one?  I know that a lot of how I'm feeling right now has to do with being stressed with a busy week.  Hopefully next week will be a little better. It's bound to be because, well for one thing it can't get much worse (knock on wood) and secondly it's a short week because we don't have school on Monday. Happy President's Day to me!!!
      Thursday was actually quite nice.  There was a little chaos and mayhem at school over drug/alcohol use and possession.  The principal had assemblies with each of the classes. I was teaching during the Freshman and Sophomore one and then I had planning during the one for Juniors and Seniors.  My mentor teacher didn't go so I just stayed back with her.  It was the talk of the school though.  The kids were all worked up about it.  My fourth period wanted to spend some time talking about it, but I didn't think that was a very good idea.  The last thing anybody needed was to get even more worked up.  So we learned the Binomial Theorem instead :) When I got back to my apartment after school, I made dinner and settled down with a good movie. I was giving a test the next day so I didn't have any lesson planning to do. I took the opportunity to have a night off.  What movie did I watch? I'm glad you asked. I proudly say on my couch and watched "Winnie the Pooh" on my laptop.  My roommates made a few comments that suggested their disapproval, but clearly they don't understand the joy that comes from Winnie the Pooh. I laughed out loud through most of it and enjoyed every minute of it.  I don't get a chance to laugh that hard very often out here.  It felt so nice to really let loose and have a good laugh for a change.  It felt so good in fact that I kept laughing even after the funny part ended.
      Today was the roughest day at school by far.  The test went great during period.  I haven't graded the tests yet but the students were angels and I wasn't even nervous. Second period was Pre-calculus. Since my mentor went out of town again, I was covering the lesson for her.  It was just a review for their mid chapter test.  We had a really good time.  We were cracking jokes and having fun.  I really liked it.  It was a great day...then I went to third period.  I don't want to dwell on it so let's just leave it at this: a student mouthed off and called me disrespectful for talking to another student trying to get him on task while she did a problem on the board, I had to take a girl's cell phone and ipod away, and that same girl tried to run out of class and then laughed at me for stepping between her and the door.  At that point I had had enough.  I put the marker down, reminded them all that if they wanted me to respect them, they had to respect me, gave them an assignment to do silently at their seats, and tried not to cry the rest of the period.  It was awful.  It took me awhile to not be upset about it anymore but by the end of lunch I was feeling better.   When the day was over, I beat half the students out of the building.  I all but washed my hands of that place today.
      But it's the weekend and the weekend is no time to be down. So, I went back to my apartment,had some ice cream, had a little nap and watched a movie with my roommates and Anna.  I'm so glad Anna came.  I would've been miserable without her.  We watched "Breaking Dawn", not the movie I would've chosen just because of what I've heard of it.  I can say I've watched it now though and I don't ever have to watch it again.  I feel like they spent too much time focusing on all the wrong parts, but it was fun to watch together and have a good time with my roommates and Anna, AND I only had one piece of chocolate.  After the week I've had, I find that impressive. :) I'm not sure what adventures I'll get to go on this weekend, but I can't wait for them! I'm ready to do a little exploring! :)